When He Sees Me

Genesis 16: 13a - And she called the name of the Lord that spake unto her, Thou God seest me (KJV)

One of my favourite things about God is the way He chooses to meet me at my level and guide me back on to the safe path, even though I should have known not to stray away in the first place. If you follow me on social media, you’ll know that every so often I post something about remembering to rest in God. While it might all sound as holy as can be, the reason that I repeatedly post about this topic is because after I remember to rest, I also tend to forget and then I need to be reminded again and so the dance went. Yesterday was one of those days where I remembered.

I planned to listen to a particular sermon in the morning. Actually, I’d been falling behind on a series of sermons and I was determined to catch up, but then I remembered the porch. Well technically, I started wondering if I was having a quarterlife crisis* and that reminded me of the porch and how much those talks spoke to me (I’ve not listened to them for a while). So I made my way over to their YouTube channel and the first thing I saw was a series titled “Vice & Virtue”. I had just planned to just browse their videos, but instead of sticking to my plan I decided to follow the leading of the Spirit. I found the first sermon in the series and started listening.

As I listened, I started to have one of those moments where I just fell in love with God all over again. Most of us have had this in romantic relationships; it’s those moments you get after you’ve been with someone for a while and the gestures of kindness and love are routine. And then your spouse will do something that makes you pause. They do something that reminds you of why you choose to love them. It might be a surprise gift or an act as simple as them going out of their way to make you dinner even though it’s your night to cook. It’s different for each person and each relationship. In my relationship with God, it’s whenever He sees me. It’s when He involves Himself in the details of my life. It’s love-inspiring to know that the Almighty God loves me enough to speak to me as I stumble through a situation. He says “I see you and I know that this is happening, so here’s what we need to do” and those delightful moments are more than enough to make this girl smile.

Yesterday, the sermon I found myself listening to was God involving myself in the details of my life. It was Him being patient with me. He lovingly reminded me to let go of my pride in my abilities and to trust in His capabilities.

I’ve had a lot on my plate the last few months, and my schedule just seems to keep getting busier. It has felt like everything was completely out of my control and all I could do was try to keep my head above water. Whenever I got to a point where I thought a solution was round the corner, all I found was another “difficulty” to add on to the list. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve tried to remind myself that “God is still God and He is in control”. There was a point where I said because I truly knew it, but at some point, it just became something I said on autopilot. I technically still know that He’s in control, but at some point, I stopped believing it and started making my own plans and relying on my own abilities.

What does this have to do with the sermon? Well, Jonathan Podluka started the sermon by talking about how sometimes people carry too much and sooner or later something’s going to drop. He talked about how his decision to carry so much affected his health. I don’t even need to empathise with that because I’ve basically spent the last few months being ill due to stress. And finally, he talked about how the main reason a person might find themselves carrying so much is because of pride. I can’t say this was a new message for me. In fact, God has pointed this out to me repeatedly in the past. It was usually in those moments where I remembered to rest in Him. The issue was that I kept forgetting to keep resting and would try to deal with life all by myself.  The truth is that none of us can do it by ourselves, but the good news is that we don’t have to. Even in the things we can figure out ourselves, we might handle it wonderfully all by ourselves, but when we let God handle it then it goes from just being wonderful to having an eternal impact.

So why the blog post? Well like I said, I’m having one of those moments where I’m remembering just why I love Him so much and I just couldn’t keep it to myself.

*Quarterlife crisis definition - a crisis that may be experienced in one’s twenties, involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life (Collins Dictionary)

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